My personal thoughts about life with a disability and all other things I consider important in my life.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

3 Weeks

IT's almost Christmas Eve. Joy. I'm still in a very ba-humbug kind of mood.
Vertigo will do that to a person.
Try decorating a 5' tree and being nauseated just trying to get the lights on. So nauseated that no food for the rest of the day would be just fine by you.
And you still have to put the ornaments on.

This is where the story gets a bit comic... Not that I'm in a comic kind of mood. I keep trying, it just doesn't flow right now.

Anyway, we got the tree into the house and in its stand. We set it on an antique sled my great grandfather made to make it look a bit bigger, and to take up less room. So - I water it. I look about a half hour later and it needs more water. Woo! How cool! I water it again. My cat is looking. Then I notice the stream. The stand has sprung a leak.

Great. Just what I need. 1 and 1/2 quarts of sugar water in the rug that I just shampooed a week before. Dad goes to K-Mart for another tree stand while I shampoo that spot and dry it out as quickly as possible so we can put the tree back in position.

Today - I mop the floors with a brand new mop. It left a bloody film on the entire floor - kitchen and diningroom. I get to mop the floor again to get rid of it. Yeah - I need to do every job twice around here. It's what I live for.

And now we have a front racing through that is wreaking havoc with my balance. All I can say is, I'm going to bed. I feel like shit, I have to go out tomorrow and I'm not sure I'm going to feel like it.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

50 bucks a week

12/19 - Life is just getting too comedic.
Vertigo - bad enough.
Then, add having the entire house disrupted getting two new floors in.
Worse. But, not much I can do about it. Meclizine helps a little.
Feel better for about a day between floors.
Have killer allergic "thing" the day after the second floor is put in.
Nasty ass snow storm nails me to the couch the day after that.
Asthma starts kicking up. Get the inhaler and pred pack.
Yeast infection the next day. Well, that's what I get for self-medicating with chocolate. LOL
Period comes right after the discovery of the infection. Life is just too sympathetic.
Turn water on for shower and a water main down the road breaks. Literally - same time.

We never lost power. At least not yet. LOL

So - what else can happen? I'm sure it will and I'll let you know!

Oh - looked online and found out that national average for cleaning is 30/hour. We've got some real gougers around here. I'm going to keep looking. Hopefully will find someone willing.


It'll cost $50/cleaning to regain my sanity.

That's to dust the first floor, clean the tub, the toilet and the sink in 1 bathroom.

Cleaning the kitchen sink and counter would be extra.

WOW. I should have gone into cleaning houses. M&D have no clue how much they're saving by having me as a slave. I had no clue how much I was paying in sweat rent.

I'm feeling some better. Allergies are down. Asthma is still up. Hives and itching are still around, but at least they're decreasing substantially. Methylpred is a great drug. So's albuterol. And meclizine. And alka seltzer cold/allergy. And Effexor. LOL

Not much of a chemical cocktail there, huh?

I still have a headache.

I know I want out of this situationg. I just don't know how to get out.

Was able to air the house out quite a bit. That felt good. It gets so stuffy. So close. Too prison like.

Merry Christmas.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

6 Months and No Change

I'm laughing because it's been just about 6 months since I last wrote. I say no change, but the doc bumped my meds up a bit, hoping to help snap me out of my funk.

It helped some. But now winter is here and I'm trapped inside the house with 2 parents who do nothing.

I know I'm ranting. Tough titties.

My sister says to quit enabling my mom. Well, I would stop enabling her couch potato existance if I could survive the transition period.

But my allergies won't allow that.

Snow - well, Dad's knees won't let him shovel much. More than he does, but not by a whole lot. Mom's heart won't let her shovel any. Where I get resentful is when she says she wishes she could help. I keep telling her that helping would be to sweep and vacuum. Oh - well, I didn't mean THAT kind of help. No shit.

House work - I went to my sister's for a week - some laundry had been done. The floor swept, but nothing dusted or vacuumed, kitchen hadn't been wiped up the entire time. Cataracts or no, after awhile, you've got to at least SMELL the food.

Trash - the kitchen garbage isn't 15' from the trash cans. And yet she can't make that walk with something that weighs less than 2#. Smell! Awful! Someone who can smell cinnamon 2 rooms away surely can smell garbage 2' away. Ditto on the fridge.

Bathroom - that is the ONE room that makes me dizzy enough that nothing else gets done in the day if I end up cleaning it. But waiting for Mom means waiting a month. It's the only bathroom in the house. I can almost take it. But again, the smell (thank you Dad), is what gets me.

Allergies - I've got allergies. Dust mites are literally the worst for me. So, keeping it vacuumed, dusted and swept is important to my breathing. If I dust, I'm plugged for the rest of the day. She knows this. And yet, if she dusts monthly, it's a miracle.

We have discussed these issues time and again. I'm not discussing them anymore. Why? It isn't going to change anything.

No living on my own. No escape.

I haven't even had a chance to work with the long-arm quilter I worked SO hard over the summer to get brought in. It's been MONTHS. But because of my normal autumnal vertigo, Mom deciding she needed new flooring put in NOW v. any time my vertigo isn't as bad, or I could get outside while saws and such are running. That's kicked the V up 5 fold, easy.

It's about 845PM and I'm ready for bed. It's that bad.

No reading, little writing, no sewing, no thinking. Virtually no talking. I can't. Speech is slurred, english is not understood. Facial nerve is all sorts of pissed off. Brain death. Critical thinking - nope.

Between the noise, the furniture moved, the smell, the fumes and now the weather, I'll be lucky to feel human by mid January.

I think I'll go cry now.