So Tired

I am so tired of it all. Repetative, huh?

Well, I try, and I try. And I keep trying. Keep hoping. Keep thinking tomorrow will be better. And it just so rarely happens that I think I have hope.

I'm tired of being suicidal every year. I know I don't have it so bad compared to other people. I know it's a pity party for the most part. But my brain just isn't set up to understand that and cope with it.

I've had my meds increased - only to have the insurance company refuse to pay. So, it's been dropped back down suddenly. Not fun. Not helping.

But, I was this way last year, the year before and now this year.

I'm ready to be done. It's just not worth it.

I hate being so psychotic.