My personal thoughts about life with a disability and all other things I consider important in my life.

Thursday, October 05, 2006


Sister, you need to come get me. Mom and Dad are pissing me off.

I definitely do better in a brighter atmosphere. This house is dark, and Dad decided he didn't like the halogen lamp that bright so he broke the bulb. You have GOT to love passive aggressive behavior. Trumping that is his dementia. So you always wonder if it's on purpose or accident. But the halogen lamp was definitely on purpose.

On bright spot - pun intended - is the antique brass lamp with original glass needs to be put out of service because the one piece of glass has a crack traveling. Any breaks will make the glass fall out and ruin the lamp both from a family perspective and a value perspective.

So, that damn yellow light will be gone! Life doesn't always suck. I'll be replacing it with an Ott light - true color flourescent lamp. Darn. LOL

But this house, with all the small rooms and twists and turns is killing my vertigo. I felt better at my sister's than I do here.

And this AM, a friend stopped for coffee. Not a problem. He's a great old guy. But all of a sudden, I'm in the kitchen and so is everyone else. Not only that, right up near me so I can't move without bumping into someone. That just makes me spin out of control - so much so it usually creates an instant rage reaction. I was ready to body slam them all. I finally asked if anyone else could step into the kitchen because I still had some room to move. They got the hint.

It's not like I just had this vertigo hit. It's been 5 years. I try to be alone in a room for a reason. Which is WHY I don't COOK! I can't have even 2 minute alone in that fucking room, much less the hour it would take to make a meal the way *I* like. I get too dizzy trying to work around everyone and so I just don't bother. Mom gets pissed because she's the only one cooking - well too fucking bad. You can't keep your fat ass out of the kitchen long enough for me to do something, you don't get any time off from it. Period.

Time to go outside and mow. Get rid of some of this rage. Then shower. Then nap. LOL It works every time.



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