My personal thoughts about life with a disability and all other things I consider important in my life.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Ups and Downs

There are some days where I think, "I'll beat this thing and get back to living." And then there are days like this summer.

Last night and this AM, I had hope. I was day dreaming about taking on yet another profession - a skilled trade like electrician. Plumbing would be cool too, but they have a lot of heavy lifting that I really don't feel I'm up to. I'm 5'3". Strong for my size, but still short.

And then, this afternoon hit. I went to a fabric store and have come home twirling. Brain is just trying to rip my eyes out of their sockets to spin in my skull. I hate that tug.

Plus, I'm still not over the stings. I got stung about 8 weeks ago by a yellow jacket nest. I was put on benadryl and prednisone with a script for an epi pen, which I got just in case. I've been stung once or twice since then (I'm outside a lot and generally get stung berry picking). Yesterday and today - a full 2 months after the major stinging - I've had to take oodles of benadryl to stop itching. That's being on another round of pred too - asthma is the worst in 4 years.

So - optimism isn't as high as it could be.

But, I keep on keeping on. I'm making 2 quilts for a friend - 1 in process now, the other patiently waiting. I have cukes and summer squash soaking in salt water to make bread and butter pickles later. And have done my normal cleaning.

Odd as it sounds - that's where I find my hope. I started my rehab with cleaning. Sweeping the floors was all I could do. But I did that every day. Graduated to sweeping AND vacuuming. Ooo. And just kept adding to the list until I was able to do yard work like mowing, making a couple of retaining walls, etc. So, I'm going back to that. The dizzies are killer, but I can still sweep and vacuum. So I will.

Going to the store was too much, and was only there for 15 minutes, but with the past few weeks having been what they were, it was too much. But I did it anyway.

That is the life of a vestibular patient.


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